Facebook Etiquette - Social Media Etiquette at it's finest

Facebook Etiquette - done to death or not done right?

I once again begin my etiquette blog with a description, facebook - what is it?

Facebook ~ A social networking service and website launched in 2004, operated and privately owned by Facebook Inc. Users may create a personal profile, add other users as friends and exchange messages. Users must declare themselves over 13 years of age to register to the site, users can share photos, stories and daily updates.

So has this social media giant replaced peoples need to interact in person with one another? Has it provided a method of stalking ex lovers, friends or even the office hotty? Let's look to see if perhaps there may be some 'socially accepted' standards of facebook interaction.

Status Updates - easy one here, don't update every two seconds, this isn't twitter and no-one really cares you've had three pieces of toast today (one with Jam) - this is called over updating. Also why post cryptic messages about people on your friends list...clearly the message is aimed at them, now let's all be grown ups and talk to them face to face.

Photo Tagging - come on people, unless your friends are very liberal please do them a solid and 'cleanse' the bad ones, just because you have a hundred great photos of a night out don't post the bad ones of your friends and tag without permission. Be prepared for them to untag with no recourse from you. It's only fair, think of how you would feel if a terrible photo from the end of Friday night with make up running down your face appeared tagged on facebook.

Friendship Adding - this isn't the emmy awards where you thank every person you have ever come in contact with. Be thoughtful when adding people, you don't need a cast of thousands on your 'friends' list to have a full social life. When is a good time to add friends? Well call me old fashioned but stating the obvious is never before meeting someone in person, perhaps never before you have their mobile number. Adding your friends partner has a separate set of considerations, how long have you known your friend for, how many times have you met their partner, do you get along and can hold conversations with their partner, would you be likely to join them for an intimate dinner with your friend? If the answers are a short time and probably not then it might not be acceptable to send them a friend request. The same set of questions would be used when adding a friend of a friend for the first time.

Facebook Tone - like any other written word, it's hard to see tone. Be mindful of this when posting a statement which you may consider harmless, remembering that you have friends from all walks of life, jobs, background, political and spiritual beliefs.

Checking In - yes we get it, you are super popular and spend countless hours at the gym...ok ok so I may have personally fallen for the excitement of checkin. However I've seen the error of my ways and have had personal experience seeing the frustration of people on your friends list who are hyperactive checkers. A few things to go by, we get it, you work out, every day...good for you! Staying healthy is important, although don't you find it more exhilarating to have modesty, wouldn't it be better for the next time you see someone for them to say 'WOW you look amazing!' not, "ahh yes I see you are a member of XYZ gym". Checking others in, consider if the other person wants you to check them in, they may have members of their office as friends and whilst your lovely extended lunch with matching wines might be exciting to you (and also to your friend) it might be considerate to ask them before potentially ruining their career.

DO - enjoy your social experience, social media can be fun, interactive and of course a little cheeky. Create a group, start events and use this fantastic media to explore the limitless bounds life has to offer.

This is not to say that social media cannot be adapted for etiquette, you may decide to keep your friends list small and intimate or you may decide that more friends is right for you. Whichever you chose be happy with your choice.
 
Conclusion - Have fun and be considerate.

xx Stay Awesome

Friendship Etiquette - does it exist? What is it?

A girlfriend and I were talking about blogging about Etiquette in society, everything from public transport through to family, friendship and partners.... First on this list is Friendship Etiquette, does it exist? What does it look like?..

I'll start with the description of the word:-
Etiquette ~ A code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class or group.

Naturally friendship is a very complex thing, this cannot perhaps be placed into a list of 'rules, policies or procedures' as let's face it that would make it not only dull but also too easy, rather we live in a world where thoughts of 'if they did this, did that mean that?" or 'she didn't invite me does that mean I'm worthless' or simply, 'she's too fat to wear that, OH Hello Person X *KISS KISS*'.

If there were perhaps a set of Etiquette rules or items to follow from personal experience I would suggest the following:

·         Maintain amicable social relations with your friends and try to develop sincere links and continue to cement friendship. Avoid adopting an attitude of annoyance with your friends.
Form friendships with pure and righteous people.

·         Trust your friends. Behave cheerfully while you are in their company. Avoid being gloomy and making your friends gloomy. Be informal, frank and good nature amidst friends. Your friends should not feel bored with your presence; rather they should feel happy and alive in your company and should feel drawn towards you.

·         Do not be dull and spiritless. Be of good cheer and keep your spirits high.

·         Be loyal and devoted to your friends. The best form of devotion to your friend is that you should increasingly try to elevate their opinions and beliefs of themselves.

·         Meet your friends in a cheerful, amicable, joyous and sincere manner. Greet them warmly avoid showing an indifferent, cold and unconcerned behaviour. Say words of praise and thanks and joy and satisfaction during meetings with your friends.

·         Whenever you differ among yourselves on any matter resolve it at once. Always take the initiative to seek forgiveness and to admit your fault.

·         Do not lose time in making peace. The longer the delay in resolving quarrels, the deeper grow the roots of contention, and the wider grows the gulf of separation between the hearts.

·         Be a trustworthy confident. If a friend, relying on your good faith, confides their secret in you, you should safeguard this secret. Do not betray the confidence of your friend

I would also go on to discuss the Etiquette behind when friendships part ways, either organically when personalities grow/adapt/change or perhaps when something more sinister has caused the split. Whichever the case this should be handled with grace and poise, don't start spreading rumours after your old friend to other friends, there is no need to behave nasty towards someone who may have invested years into your life.

If on the receiving end of such behaviour as a mutual friend it is your duty to stay far away from any discussions of resentment towards friends and perhaps suggest that you are a multual friend and that you value both friendships. However how often this is actually the case is yet to be seen particularly when female friendships are involved, yes I am sterotyping that females tend to invest more into friendships and be more emotional when it comes to that awful 'friendship breakup' we become hurt, upset and can perhaps sometimes lash out. Instead I suggest remembering a time not so long before when the friendship was good and how much you valued that person in times of good and bad, think of that before the next time you go to create negative opinions for other people.

Friendships come and go, something that takes years to understand and deal with I think however the lesson to be learned is what to do and how to act after the friendship perhaps come to an end, keeping it mind it is painful for both persons involved.

xx Stay Awesome